Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

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Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

Post by Icalor on Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:31 am

Hi there! Please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong place.

I used to RP on this server. I was pretty rubbish at it. I'd like to give it another bash.
I've reconstructed my character with MRP, and made a few tweaks to make him a bit more to my taste as a nuanced character and an interesting premise.

I'm a bit rusty on my lore though - especially the minefield that is Druid lore.

Before I get back into roleplaying here, I'd like to make sure everything checks out.

As such, here is my character description and history!

MRP Description wrote:Icalor bears the build of a veteran past his prime. Though he remains fitter than an ordinary citizen, his once proud musculature now lies behind a faint geriatic sag.

His eye reflects an amber-brown - a dulled jewel slotted into his stony features; features framed by his grey-streaked hair.

He wears the regalia of his days as a combat medic, both in the first war and during the rebellion.

There appears to be something a bit.. wrong, with the moonkin hatchling at his heels. Its eyes are a fair few times larger than they ought to be, and it looks like it doesn't really know - or care - where it is.

MRP History wrote:- Fought in the first war, and was inspired by the Alliance

- Joined Crowley's Rebellion due to a desire to connect with the Alliance and the greater world at large

- Imprisoned as a traitor

- Bitten amidst the chaos, and subsequently received the Worgen curse

- Pardoned along with Crowley and his men during the outbreak of the Worgen curse

- Learned druidic healing in Darnassus to augment his skills as a physician

- Currently a member of the Alliance military as a combat medic once again. Fishes in his spare time.

Any suggestions to fix any problems with lore my character has would be appreciated - I realise that if there are glaring problems that can't be fixed, or if he's just a really lame character, I might have to scrap him and start again. I'm ok with that!

While I'm here, are there any active Alliance roleplay channels that I could get into the community through? I really enjoy raiding with my non-RP guild, so joining a roleplaying guild isn't really an option for me.

Thanks for your time folks! Looking forward to hearing back from people.

Errors found:
1. Gilneas didn't participate in the first war. They defended themself a fair bit in the second war, however. I've changed it to;
"Fought in the second war, and was inspired by the Alliance - the wonder of nations and races working together, something in his Gilnean upbringing he thought foolish and fickle".


Last edited by Icalor on Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:03 am; edited 2 times in total

Icalor

Posts : 7
Join date : 2012-02-14
Age : 22
Location : Cambridge, England

Character sheet
Name: Icalor Attwood
Title: Keeper of the Old Ways

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Re: Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

Post by Lyniath on Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:41 am

Join the LFRP channel. Its not too chatty, but if you pop up and say hi, ask around, people will start talking and therell be stuff going

Lyniath

Posts : 2552
Join date : 2011-09-04
Age : 21
Location : Dundee

Character sheet
Name: Lynne Aeson
Title: Nomadic Cleric / Sorceress

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Re: Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

Post by Icalor on Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:45 am

Thanks Lyniath! Just asked if anyone was home, sure enough plenty of people about.

Icalor

Posts : 7
Join date : 2012-02-14
Age : 22
Location : Cambridge, England

Character sheet
Name: Icalor Attwood
Title: Keeper of the Old Ways

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Re: Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

Post by Charlie Blazesong on Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:47 am

I personally didn't detect any faults in the lore atleast, any character has potential to be exciting but I usually just make the character and have a go with it. Thats how I work out what the character will be, but thats just personal preference. Get out there and RP man!

Charlie Blazesong

Posts : 750
Join date : 2012-04-01
Age : 20
Location : Wherever.

Character sheet
Name: Thurman Agamand
Title:

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Re: Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

Post by Skarain on Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:23 am

Icalor wrote:I used to RP on this server. I was pretty rubbish at it.
...What?.. What is this Heresy that you are spewning forth? I used to be Roleplay with you, Skarain aspired to learn first aid skills from Icalor once they got to know as he came to Rey's Blades to get your dagger fixed and i do not remember a single part of your RP that i would deem rubbish. Your RP is just fine.

As for Description, nothing wrong in it. I may perk up an eyebrow on the Moonkin hatchling and why one would follow him, but that is an In Character reason thing (and it's not like the first time i see people involved with Night Elves/Druidism to have one or something similar around. Nothing wrong in it by itself).

As for Lore, you already pointed out your own glaring errors. Gilneas did send only a Token Force to assist the Alliance in the 2nd War, and the wall was constructed when it turned out that the Alliance needed Gilneas more than Gilneas needed the Alliance. Lord of His Pack is a good Lore-read regarding Gilnean history, it briefly mentioned industrial rise, give some incentive on how Worgen transformation can be emoted, and prods on the fact of how proud and stubborn the Gilneans can be.

Regarding Druidic Lore, if you feel uncertain about it, there is walls of worth of read out in the internet. Bottom line: Respect life, understand the circle of life and death, how the ecosystem works, commune with the spirits of the nature - the power of nature is not "yours", but you request/plead the nature to come to your aid. Be humble.

As for channels, LFRP was already mentioned. It works in the way that was described. Kalimdor is another channel in use. Not huge as the other but it usually have some Leaf-people in it to ask for ideas and tips.

You can also poke me anytime. I tend to keep up-to-date on everything that goes on the server, and you do still have me on Btag from across years Wink

_____________________________________________________
(A) Skarain - Skarain Feirand: Outlawed Worgen Arcanist, Magi of the Underworld and Speaker of [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].
(H) Nakris -  Nakris Sin'voth: Captain of [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Also known as Mahruon, Halisi, Reljen, Senrar, Inran, Flick├┐ and Grimfeather

Contact: Skarain#2346(Btag), Skarain#8885(Discord), inejaro(Skype)

Help the appearance of the server: Report player/pet/guild names.

Forum Moderator: Contact in regarding questions or issues with the forum.


"Roleplaying....is beautiful. And it may take your heart and soul. Entirely..."

Skarain

Posts : 2583
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 23
Location : Finland

Character sheet
Name: Skarain Feirand
Title: Mother of the Flame

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Re: Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

Post by Amaryl on Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:52 am

Icalor wrote:
Hi there! Please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong place.

I used to RP on this server. I was pretty rubbish at it. I'd like to give it another bash.
I've reconstructed my character with MRP, and made a few tweaks to make him a bit more to my taste as a nuanced character and an interesting premise.

I'm a bit rusty on my lore though - especially the minefield that is Druid lore.

Before I get back into roleplaying here, I'd like to make sure everything checks out.

As such, here is my character description and history!

MRP Description wrote:Icalor bears the build of a veteran past his prime. Though he remains fitter than an ordinary citizen, his once proud musculature now lies behind a faint geriatic sag.

His eye reflects an amber-brown - a dulled jewel slotted into his stony features; features framed by his grey-streaked hair.

He wears the regalia of his days as a combat medic, both in the first war and during the rebellion.

There appears to be something a bit.. wrong, with the moonkin hatchling at his heels. Its eyes are a fair few times larger than they ought to be, and it looks like it doesn't really know - or care - where it is.

MRP History wrote:- Fought in the first war, and was inspired by the Alliance

- Joined Crowley's Rebellion due to a desire to connect with the Alliance and the greater world at large

- Imprisoned as a traitor

- Bitten amidst the chaos, and subsequently received the Worgen curse

- Pardoned along with Crowley and his men during the outbreak of the Worgen curse

- Learned druidic healing in Darnassus to augment his skills as a physician

- Currently a member of the Alliance military as a combat medic once again. Fishes in his spare time.

Any suggestions to fix any problems with lore my character has would be appreciated - I realise that if there are glaring problems that can't be fixed, or if he's just a really lame character, I might have to scrap him and start again. I'm ok with that!

While I'm here, are there any active Alliance roleplay channels that I could get into the community through? I really enjoy raiding with my non-RP guild, so joining a roleplaying guild isn't really an option for me.

Thanks for your time folks! Looking forward to hearing back from people.

Errors found:
1. Gilneas didn't participate in the first war. They defended themself a fair bit in the second war, however. I've changed it to;
"Fought in the second war, and was inspired by the Alliance - the wonder of nations and races working together, something in his Gilnean upbringing he thought foolish and fickle".

Heya, your character is more than fine, I did fix some things so that your MRP is a tool that is useful for your fellow RPers to use and read when RPing with you.

My one question is though; does this dude have one eye and a jewel in the other socket? scrap that, have the man have two eyes.

Amaryl

Posts : 2876
Join date : 2010-08-25
Age : 28
Location : The Netherlands

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Re: Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

Post by Icalor on Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:55 am

Blimey no, that'd be a pretty lame character, unless I was going for an over-the-top evil genius! I'll try to make it more clear that it's a metaphor, thanks for outlining that it's too vague.

I've switched to TRP3 as apparently more people use it.

Icalor

Posts : 7
Join date : 2012-02-14
Age : 22
Location : Cambridge, England

Character sheet
Name: Icalor Attwood
Title: Keeper of the Old Ways

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Re: Looking for help building my character! Lore-checks and grammar-checks wanted.

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