Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

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Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Sandros Shvilkovsky on Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:46 am

Greetings potential friends,


Yesterday evening our beloved CEOs (Kelstena and Shvilkovsky) received some “constructive criticism” from a self-righteous and narrow-minded rogue whose name we shall not disclose mainly due to no longer remembering it. In response, Kelstenkovsky Co Crisis-Management Department has been tasked with producing the following statement to invalidate our prosecutor’s allegations.

Now before listing the core accusations we were issued, we feel that it is needed to briefly introduce our role-playing entity to contextualize said indictments. Kelstenkovsky Co is an unscrupulous and amoral mega-corporation that focuses solely on the acquisition of monetary profit through any means necessary. And as expected of such an institution, K-Co is extremely wealthy and resourceful. Should you wish to learn the details, we invite you to attend our website at http://kelstenkovsky.co.uk/
With that out of the way, we will now reveal the rogue’s “friendly feedback” which we exercise our right to disagree with:

1) Kelstenkovsky Co is incompatible with the role-playing diegesis.
2) Kelstenkovsky Co “does not make sense”.
3) Kelstenkovsky Co is too wealthy.
4) Kelstenkovsky Co operatives are “rude”.
5) S/he has never “heard of” or “met” us.

With the counter-thesis established we now proceed to tackle each claim one at a time. The dissection will be lengthy and anyone lacking the will to read on is offered to scroll down for a TL;DR Version:

1) Kelstenkovsky Co is incompatible with the role-playing diegesis.
While making his argument against the concept of a corporate institution fitting in to the role-playing environment, our prosecutor attempted to flex his quasi-intellectualism by throwing about terms he clearly had no full understanding of – like “genre”, “fantasy” and “canon”. Had s/he been at least somewhat culturally educated, then s/he would know that “genre” is practically married to “genre mixing” and that in fact pure “fantasy” itself as a literary creed is product of a union between the classical genres of medieval fiction, romanticism, fairy tales and mythology.

As for “canon”, we would like to direct everyone’s attention to the existing World of Warcraft lore and its saturation with various modernisms (banks, auction houses, barber shops, goblin machines, gnomish science, etc.). Even corporations as a specific have existed ever since Vanilla and TBC WoW in shape of goblin organizations such as the Venture Trading Company and the largely enterprise-like Ethereal Consortium. Blizz Edward’s pop culture/real world allusions have been growing more prominent with each expansion, as should be evident to anyone who did not buy his level 90. So as far as canon is concerned, a corporate guild is perfectly fitting. And no, we don’t “have to be goblins then” because saying that is like saying a black person cannot be a successful business partner and should go back to his neighborhood basketball court. That is racist and frowned upon in the civilized world.

With that sorted why not give Kelstenkovsky Co a chance at bringing innovation to the staleness of pure fantasy and mix things up with some appropriated genre mixing? Everyone remains free to still be their typical “gritty mercenaries”, “mildly corrupt city guards”, “pile of dirty thieves” or “stuck-up nobles”, but it just might get a little bit more interesting with something different alongside it all, providing a fresh angle of political interactions and reinvigorating jaded role-playing stereotypes with new dynamics of coexistence. Kelstenkovsky Co can be that subtle villain who does not need to be amputated, but rather becomes part of the stew, adding a persistent aftertaste of evil that is a little more creative than the usual morose attitude and character description paragraph dedicated to “scars” yet not as cataclysmic as a fanatical sect of demon worshippers hell-bent on annihilating the world. Kelstenkovsky Co can be Your Friendly Neighborhood Unscrupulous Corporation.

2) Kelstenkovsky Co “does not make sense”.
We won’t be devoting much space to this statement as “you don’t make sense” seems more like a declaration of one’s pitfalls in comprehension rather than a proper constructive remark. We can only speculate that our prosecutor was referring to our characters’ eccentric behavior. This, of course, is done on purpose because we believe that it is somewhat depressing that most RPers are far more compelling out-of-character then when they enter their “dramaturgic form”. Fictitious characters should be taken beyond what a real person can be, not beneath it. And real people have quirks, oddities and peculiarities. We don’t want to be just another “soft-spoken young man with tantalizing firmness in his voice” we want to be bizarre absurd and comic, as is our right. And everyone is free to react to that as they please, however they must do so in-character (e.g. “/s Get away from me you nutcase! GUARDS!”) and not through our prosecutor’s personal assault (e.g. “/w OMG your RP is WRONG because I THINK SO”).

3) Kelstenkovsky Co is too wealthy.
Our prosecutor displayed the utmost dissatisfaction with Kelstenkovsky Co being in possession of vast amounts of gold, a monetary value that he identified as “available only to the rich”. We believe the he himself soon realised the idiocy of his claim as he had no more objections after we politely reminded him that we are a mega corporation and being rich is what mega corporations do.

Naturally, the question of power balance pops up. Why should Kelstenkovsky Co be allowed to have so much wealth? As far as we’re concerned, at the heart of good power balance in role-playing lies reasonable compromise. One type of compromise is to counter an advantage with a disadvantage (e.g. a mighty warrior is stupid or a powerful sorcerer is frail). Another type is having a major weakness à la kryptonite (e.g. elusive rogue’s lover or paragon paladin’s gambling problem). I’m sure there are many other ways to achieve this but the main idea is to give people an alternative way to deal with you in circumvention of your “unbeatable” traits. That way you are not invincible and actually fun to role-play with.

We feel that Kelstenkovsky Co has successfully met this requirement. We are exceptionally wealthy but that is all we have. We have no other form of “power”. None of us are fighters, or mages, or nobles, or clergymen. Our sole method of exerting influence is through our wealth and the ability to negotiate with it, which should reveal an entire ocean of vulnerabilities to even the least creative eye. We fully relay on being able to purchase the cooperation of other “specialists” to perform anything of heightened difficulty.

If approached open-mindedly it is easy to imagine how intriguing it would be if Kelstenkovsky Co capital entered circulation within the role-playing community. As money always does, it is assured to put in to motion very interesting events if people treat the gold seriously and cooperatively. And what reason is there not to? With strengthened collaboration ties Kelstenkovsky Co could fund large-scale operations of other groups through a genuine role-playing relationship rather than simply pretending that “the Alliance is funding us” or ignoring the financial aspect of the project altogether.

4) Kelstenkovsky Co operatives are “rude”.
While it is true that Kelstenkovsky Co operatives tend to be rather coarse in their social conduct, it is again simply a part of our characters’ personalities (much like our prosecutor’s personality is dull and bland) and should not be taken personally. Instead, it should be addressed in-character and befitting the situation.

You must admit however, that we can’t be blamed for being somewhat baffled if a “badass money-hungry mercenary who does anything for the right price” suddenly declines a gigantic case of gold just because his employers lacked fine etiquette.

5) S/he has never “heard of” or “met” us.
Upon exhausting his well of shallow arguments, our prosecutor made one final attempt to “win” by focusing on how s/he has never heard of us before. All that Kelstenkovsky Co has to say to that is that we never heard of him/her either, yet that did not stop us from extending a welcoming gesture to our role-playing storyline. Treating fresh blood as underprivileged and untrustworthy results in an enclosed community and an enclosed community is historically and genetically condemned to inevitably degradation.

TL;DR Version:
1) False
2) Unconstructive
3) False
4) Misinterpreted
5) Irrelevant

In conclusion, we consider our prosecutor’s accusations to be prejudiced, opinionated and intolerant, attempting to discard a book before looking past its unorthodox cover. Such an attitude is not only disrespectful and inhospitable but also self-depraving of a potentially interesting experience. We only ask that we are given a chance and that we may be judged on the experience we provide and not the packaging it comes in. Once again, we invite anyone who is interested to our website ( http://kelstenkovsky.co.uk/ ) where you will be able to find our ongoing role-playing storylines under Forum>Roleplaying in the Main Menu.


Proudly yours,
Kelstenkovsky Co Crisis-Management Department (in collaboration with K-Co Legal Team)


Last edited by Sandros Shvilkovsky on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:07 am; edited 1 time in total

Sandros Shvilkovsky

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Grim on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:07 am

What on earth are you gibbering about?

_____________________________________________________
[H] Warseer Grim Stonepaw - Orc - Battle Shaman and Chieftain of the Blood Wolf Clan
[H] Brok Frostfeud - Orc - Monk and Prospect of the Blood Wolf Clan
[H] Mayana - Orc - Rogue and spy for the Blood Wolf Clan
[H] Guk Swordshatter - Orc - Illusionist, murderer and psychopathic bitch

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Ledgic on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:12 am

Grim wrote:What on earth are you gibbering about?

My thoughts exactly.

_____________________________________________________
"It's now very common to hear people say 'I'm rather offended by that'. As if that gives them certain rights; It's actually nothing more... It's simply a whine. It's no more than a whine. 'I find that offensive', it has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no right to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that', well so fucking what?" - Stephen Fry

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Forum admin - Please feel free to contact me on any of the characters in the spoiler below!

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Charlie Blazesong on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:14 am

Insulted by a rogue, I think? And then went to write this thread.. Looks like it anyways.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Sandros Shvilkovsky on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:15 am

Kelstenkovsky Co regrets to inform Grim and Ledgic that they have been added to the Official Gauntleting Wait-List. No advance warning shall be issued prior to gauntleting.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Robin Drake on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:17 am

I only read the first few paragraphs.. but I feel something that was a private issue between you, your guild and someone else shouldn't be brought to the realms RP forums. Keep those personal issues locked up inside no matter what the doctors say!

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Coppersocket on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:19 am

Lots of fancy words and unnecessary walls of text for stating something extremely simple.

I think the main problem here is that you're claiming to be a mega corporation, despite not being well known. There's been no actual build-up with the community where you've made yourself known. You've simply appeared out of thin air.

Now that right there, is an issue. You can't readily expect the community to buy your story when, frankly. You have none.

Which you may wonder "and why is that a problem?"
Well, frankly you're claiming yourself something that should be respected. People with great wealth and/or large amount of members generally feel they have more power than other roleplayers in some regard, and this causes a fracture. It causes people not to want to interact with you, because in your path of claiming you're this massive company you step on anyone else's toes that would oppose you.

Equally, claiming you're one thing is very much, one thing. Being able to play it out however, is another. Without a large amount of members and the reputation to boot, how will you be able to convince anyone that your claims are even remotely accurate?

Not a bad idea on paper perhaps, but you're really not giving peopl emuch chance to interact. You're basically just saying "This is us, we demand that you accept it."

New and refreshing RP is a good thing, but you need to consider the people around you while you're doing it. This is an example of why good characters are generally toned down from having great wealth or otherwise off the bat, because the players understand that being too powerful in some regard isn't very kind towards those around you who may desire to interact with you in other ways than you, yourself may have expected.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by kelstena on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:20 am

It's not a "personal" issue. It was stipulated that our corporation should not be allowed to be roleplayed due to "not fitting in" this thread serves to make the community aware of the reasons why it should be allowed.

It also provides information pertaining to our currency initiative that people ought to read so as to not be shocked when a Kelstenkovsky Co. Gold bar lands on their hand crushing their dweebular bones.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Sandros Shvilkovsky on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:23 am

Kelstenkovsky Co absolves itself of all bone-crushed health concerns starting now.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Sandros Shvilkovsky on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:26 am

Coppersocket wrote:being too powerful in some regard isn't very kind towards those around you

No offencir and in no way in a baddular state mate but I just extensively explained how being wealthy is in no way being "too powerful", a generic street urchin can shiv us to death if he so desires. Swear down and up mate you're in for a gauntleting too now.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Iriel Silversong on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:28 am

Are you an automated response system? Must I input data?

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Robin Drake on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:35 am



Yeah. Automated response systems.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Coppersocket on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:52 am

Sandros Shvilkovsky wrote:
Coppersocket wrote:being too powerful in some regard isn't very kind towards those around you

No offencir and in no way in a baddular state mate but I just extensively explained how being wealthy is in no way being "too powerful", a generic street urchin can shiv us to death if he so desires. Swear down and up mate you're in for a gauntleting too now.
You blatantly cookie cuttered a single phrase and made out your own answer out of it. Neglecting what I actually stated.

Being powerful can mean far more than the muscles your character has, or how well they can fire a spell.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Damon on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:57 am

How have you managed to attain Mega-corp "status" within the lore and world of Azeroth, I think if you brought that around, rather than just calling yourself a crazy rich mega corp right off the bat, could help people accept you a bit more. Are you guys merchants? Industrial producers? Explaining that could help a bit.

Apart from that...I really dont know why you needed such a long post for this...

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Izzifix on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:59 am

This message, with the recruitment thread from Registry in mind is rather hilarious.

@OP:
Never let the self-proclaimed "RP-police" win. Never.
Best of luck!

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by kelstena on Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:16 am

Damon wrote:How have you managed to attain Mega-corp "status" within the lore and world of Azeroth, I think if you brought that around, rather than just calling yourself a crazy rich mega corp right off the bat, could help people accept you a bit more. Are you guys merchants? Industrial producers? Explaining that could help a bit.

Apart from that...I really dont know why you needed such a long post for this...

We are merchants who have a large-scale herb-processing operation. The multitude of Bloodthistle addicts in Stormwind City have helped up attain lord-status as it were.

kelstena

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Jeanpierre on Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:18 am

Meh. People have claimed to be Nobles without actually having roleplayed becoming a Noble. Additionally, they often pretended or played as being wealthy. This corporation is a bit of an outlandish style but comical at least Razz
Good luck.


Last edited by Jeanpierre on Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:20 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Coppersocket on Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:19 am

You mean the herb that only Blood Elves can use? I can see that surely selling well in the Alliance.

But whatever.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Grim on Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:19 am

I resent it being implied I'm in the lore police!

Also... Dare I ask what a 'gauntleting' actually is...?

_____________________________________________________
[H] Warseer Grim Stonepaw - Orc - Battle Shaman and Chieftain of the Blood Wolf Clan
[H] Brok Frostfeud - Orc - Monk and Prospect of the Blood Wolf Clan
[H] Mayana - Orc - Rogue and spy for the Blood Wolf Clan
[H] Guk Swordshatter - Orc - Illusionist, murderer and psychopathic bitch

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by kelstena on Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:20 am

Coppersocket wrote:You mean the herb that only Blood Elves can use? I can see that surely selling well in the Alliance.

But whatever.

No offencir copper and in literally EVERY way apart from a bad one, we REFINE it into a USABLE form so that the ALLIANCE can use it.

Grim - a gauntleting is described here: http://kelstenkovsky.co.uk/?q=node/111

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by kelstena on Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:23 am

Actually if any of you were around 4 years ago in the days of Gigledon etc. I ran "Harper Brothers Exports" which involved smuggling Bloodthistle in from the harbour and selling it at the shady lady, so no offencir but we literally just changed the corporation name and changed management.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Coppersocket on Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:37 am

Do you take habit of adding literally after "offencir", whatever that means?
I assume it's some hipster way of combining "offense" and "sir"

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Skarain on Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:18 am

Read through the main post and all comments. You have an interesting style of writing. Not bad, no, but very good english to my non-native english-speaker eyes. I however must admit, at times it may have been 'difficult to comprehend', so i had to read it more slowly than i usually do. I still wouldn't call it "gibberish".

You have put up a good argument for your guild and i do find myself agreeing. It does make sense if you're willing to have an open mind and look at guilds different than the majority on the roleplaying scene.

If i have understood it correctly, and to clarify it here to the people who did not spend time to read through the thread and your recruitment thread with time.... You are not strictly a Roleplaying guild, but also a Social and Leveling guild with a sense of humor.

Your guild theme and concept is one of a business corporation and i personally see nothing bad in it. If a businessman walked into a tavern, saying that he wants to buy the place, and having said that he have made his fortune with running a trading company, most people would take it without a question, especially if the character is emoted out well. While one can argue that you need to achieve the wealth in roleplaying, what right do we have to argue what one can and can't roleplay as long as it does not go directly against the lore (like Dracula style Vampires would). Roleplaying a rich person or guild i have never seen to be against the written and unwritten "Rules of Roleplaying". The general argument of why characters should not be powerful i believe roots to the fact that Roleplaying against an all-mighty person who can't bit hit, wounded or touched while they crush you utterly is not fun. Wealth does not equal character power. More so, it opens up opportunities. Heck yes it is way more profitable to kidnap or simply rob a wealthy merchant or leader of a business enterprise in Roleplaying than it would be a priest from the cathedral, who probably have little more than his robes and a holy symbol or two.

While the guild may use 'colorful language' in their recruitment thread and roleplaying, i hardly see it any worse than the language we hear in our daily life in roleplaying. If you for some reason get "butthurt" for the mention of butt, use language filter or Report Player function for Language, take it to Blizzard. If they think it's against the code of conduct of the game, they will act. If not, what right do we have to say what is right and wrong to do within a game that is run by said company?

In all sense, i see nothing bad with the guild. It may be different, it may be with a name that i can't imagine ever spelling properly but what does it matter? We play this game to enjoy it. Let each one of us enjoy it with their style and not exclude them from it because they are "different".

Lastly, i found out the Cards that you had links into on your recruitment thread and i completely cracked up, laughing for minutes. Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

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(took the liberty to copy-paste and upload, since you couldn't link the cards in the form that they were on the original site)

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Arabella Greene on Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:21 am

If this was aimed at me just because I told you last night that I had no idea who you were IC and OOC.
I'll be sorely disappointed in you.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

Post by Amaryl on Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:05 pm

I have to say, this ridiculous verbosity is making me laugh and laugh even though I care little for the content, keep up the good work, I love outlandish characters.

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Re: Kelstenkovsky Co Moral Reimbursement Thread

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