[IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Zouyo on Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:08 am

((sounds like Arenfel trolled Thelos Laughing ))


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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Melnerag on Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:20 am

Dear brother,

Word woll no doubt soon reach you that Stormwind is gripped by chaos as several preachers deny the divinity of the Light and preach against the Church. You have no reason to take me on my word, but I am not behind this and do not support it in any way.

PS: Sorayah and I are going hunting soon. Shall I bring you something from Teldrassil, some exotic seeds perhaps?



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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Thelos on Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:50 am

This letter clearly was not written by Thelos' hand, but by a clear-cut no-nonsense military type of grip. The characters are rough and sketchy, likely jotted down in great haste.

Sister Exaythe of Nagrand,

We regret to inform you that we have lost contact with the away-party in which brother Thelos was stationed. We have not heard from Karabor since the 9th of April of the Common-Azerothian calendar. A search party has been send out.

If you so desire, you will be kept updated.

A'dal's Grace,

-Onaala of the Aldor, Exarch of the Altar of Sha'tar, High Vindicator of X'iri's Vanguard.


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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Melnerag on Wed May 23, 2012 4:33 am

Letter left for Thelos in the temple of the moon

Dear brother,

When you write to me about the Light, you begin with the Light. All scriptures or popular beliefs known to me begin with the Divine and expound why it is worthy of devotion and worship. I want to begin elsewhere. I want to begin with sapient creatures and understand why should they seek the Divine, and what Divine exactly.

Does Life have a goal? I have never met a sapient Creator, so I couldn’t ask him what he had in mind when he created sapient creatures. This Creator has also been very unforthcoming with his intentions as to our fate and has not left us any notes on the sky, or carved on the faces of cliffs, or written on ancient metal plates or methodically revealed to us in dreams. Whatever His goal, if it is not important enough to be revealed then I guess it is not important enough to be followed. May be the Creator simply doesn’t exist.

Without a Creator (kind enough to make his Goal known), the Life has no goal. But it can have a direction. We can look on sapient creatures all around us and study what they do and see if we can find any common traits.

Life seeks to survive and avoid suffering , all creatures avoid that which brings them continuous harm and seek to avert death.

Sapient creatures tend to unity , all sapient creatures organize into clans, tribes, communes, families, kingdoms and cities. They seek out others of their kind and try to establish a meaningful relationship based on material and spiritual exchange and reciprocity.

Sapient creatures seek to establish Order , all sapient creatures seek a way to organize their lives and societies in an orderly and regimented manner. Even autocracies do not suffer arbitrary tyrants and prefer autocrats who uphold tradition and law.

Sapient creatures seek security , all sapient creatures strive to feel safety and conquer anxiety. Storerooms protect against famine, walls and spears protect against the enemies, medicine against disease, shamen again angered spirits, philosophy against the woes of life and faith against the imminence of death.

Sapient creatures seek happiness , it is not enough to be Safe and avert Suffering – we all want to be happy. The state of Happiness is sought after by all of us in different ways, but we are united by the search itself.

Sapient creatures seek Meaning , simple life does not satisfy all. Almost all try to find meaning in something greater than the individual. Family, Art, Science, Valor, Honor, Glory, State, Race, Wealth, Prestige or the Divine.

Sapient creatures seek Transcendence , even when the world is given meaning most of us still seek a way to become more themselves. Self-glorification or enlightenment, but virtually all try to transcend the daily self and become something more.

I believe these seven desired are shared by all sapient creatures of all races, even if they meet them in their different ways. Some seek security in Control of Nature, others in Harmony with Nature. Some seek Transcendence in strident individualism, some in unity with the Divine. But we are all on the same quest.

The Divine, if it is to be worthy of our devotion, should provide us with fulfillment of all the seven desires. In this way a Spirit can be equal of the Light, as long as both provide, even if the Light is infinitely vaster.

The Holy Light is so inviting because it offers a way to satisfy the seven desires of all, not only the elect privileged clique. Some Cruel Idol may meet the desires of the priests, but the people will be oppressed and fed mere scraps as happens among the Gurubashi and their Loa.

There is a problem. Spirits and Gods are sapient. We can make a compact with them, offering worship and service in exchange for their aid. How does one make a compact with the Holy Light? The Light will not lend Itself to those who seek it out in a ‘selfish’ quest to meet the seven desires! The Light will only lend Itself to those who believe in the universal fulfillment of the seven desires for all, an open-hearted compassion and longing for the good of all.

I am but one person, maybe there are more than just seven desires. May be there are less. May be I named them wrong or missed some nuances. But I know for certain that there are universal desires shared by all sapient creatures , the Divine is only worthy of our devotion if it provides a way to meet these desires . I believe that the Holy Light will only share Itself with those hold in their heart an unconditional good and want to see the desires of all fulfilled.

I know that the word ‘desire’ has a very negative connotation, but I think you understand that I mean here the fundamental and universal desires devoid of details. ‘Desire of Wealth’ is only a means of satisfying the more primal desires of Meaning, Security and Happiness. When those fundamental desires are not met by means that are harmless to others, they are met by solutions which bring evil and tyranny and give to some while taking from others.

There are universal desires, one may ask why does one need to meet them instead of adopting a passive attitude and being freed from desires, accepting what comes your way and enjoying it but never craving after anything? I can’t deny that such an attitude of the denial of desire is as equal as an attitude of meeting the desires.

Now to worship. Where does the practice of religion begin? Religion is meant to provide a way to satisfy the desires, therefore all religion must begin with self-knowledge. Self-knowledge alone will give rise to personal deities, so self-knowledge must grow and transform into the knowledge of the universality of the desires and realization of the uniqueness of solutions. Not all solutions work for all creatures in the same way. In the case of the Holy Light, next step is Compassion. In this step, the Light walks side-by-side with the Faithful. As the Faithful cultivates and practices unconditioned compassion, the Light guides him towards an even greater compassion.

Compassion is an internal virtue and an external practice. Compassion bereft of practice is impossible, action is what affirms the validity of a virtue and magnifies its hold over the hearts of all, including yourself. Practice without virtue is hollow, as same deeds can be motivated by a simple desire of reciprocity from others instead of the love for all.

In all, the steps are: introspection, extrapolation from the self, realization that the Light can provide satisfaction of desires for all, realization of uniqueness of particular solutions and at last unconditional compassion. The ‘religion’ provides particularities and specifics to these steps, giving them real expression. Some religions follow the steps in another way, most provide ‘extrapolation’ as a dogma, often concealed in ritual and leave Introspection for the mystics. I think that a religion can only be well-balanced if it allows for all steps.

-Sister Exaythe.


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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Thelos on Wed May 23, 2012 8:50 am

A quick note has been attached to the letter, left at the exact spot where Exaythe put it.

Fascinating anthropoligcal observations, Exaythe!

I suggest you take your findings to the Gnomish institutes. I am sure they would be delighted to discuss the psychology of Faith with you. They recently founded a Theology department, if I am not mistaken.

Good luck with your studies, and keep up the good work!

Your friend,



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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Thelos on Wed May 30, 2012 10:00 am

Dear Exaythe,

During our second-to-last meeting you mentioned how sorry you were that the Exodar’s records on our people’s long trek across the stars were so woefully inadequate. Well, I did some fiddling with the Vault’s holo-projectors, and I’m sorry to report that you are quite right! As a consolation, I’ve decided to write down some of my own impressions of the more memorable worlds we had the honor of landing on. None of these anecdotes will be particularly accurate, of course, since you’ve only got a cooky anchorite’s words to go on, and let’s face it; my wonky ravings aren’t exactly the most reliable source of information. But even if these writings will be deemed unfit for scholastic purposes, I hope you will enjoy reading trough them regardless. If not for study, then for amusement, or some form of catharsis.

Don’t ask me for any dates, because I wouldn’t even know what calendar we were using, or even how it would translate to Azeroth or Draenor calendars.

Don’t ask me for any names if I don’t know them. Chances are we never even named most of these worlds. On the rare cases that a world was inhabited by sapient species intelligent enough to name their planet, I’ll be sure to mention it.

And don’t even joke about asking me for any spatial or arcane coordinates.

Planet: Ak’Ragadaarr

I don’t remember where the barren desert world of Ak’Ragadaar got its name. It cannot have been christened by any local life, for we found no traces of any life whatsoever, let alone intelligent, sapient life. Therefore I can only imagine that it was the name we used for it, a name nobody had ever used before and nobody will use ever again. Now that I think about it, such a name can hardly be called a proper name, can it?

Phonetically speaking, it sure served its purpose in describing a lifeless wasteland. Just roll it around in your mouth whilst keeping your teeth clenched. Ak’Ragadaar. I hope you will forgive me for letting you suffer such a dreadful sound. I shan’t do so again. Both for brevity’s sake and for the sake of your mental tongue, I shall abbreviate the world’s name henceforth as Ak. Just Ak. Good old jolly Ak.

Again, not sure about the exact date, but I know for a fact that we came to Ak not long before we settled on Draenor. As you know, especially during later stages of our flight, we were constantly under the threat of discovery by the Legion. You’ve no doubt read about the history of demonic besieging of Azeroth and Draenor, so you know that Demonkin can be deviously clever. Particularly on worlds with sapience in early stages of development, demons could easily gain a foothold by appearing as brilliant deities with simple promises of power. Indeed, this is how the slew of our red-skinned brethren were corrupted in the first place. The Nathrezim and Man’ari Defilers in particular are especially adept at this, sometimes aided by lesser demons like Sayaadi Succubi or simple Fleshounds and Voidbeasts.

The last world we visited before Ak seemed like a paradise. Beautiful lush rolling fields of Argus red, mountains whose peaks pierced high-drifting clouds, adventurous valleys that dropped down so deep they might as well have been called caverns or chasms... And if that didn’t sound paradisiacal enough, there were the seas; Exaythe, seas that could properly be called oceans . It seems that, the bigger the planet, the larger the oceans. And I don’t mean bigger just in proportion: I mean that they become bigger exponentially. The two (or three or four, who’s to say) continents were separated by an ocean so vast that the planet’s simple species could not yet traverse it. This lead us to believe that we could inhabit the continent without any sapient life forms without disturbing anyone. They would not even notice our presence, or at least hey would not untill they had evolved to such a state that they would be ready to co-exist with us peacefully.

This rationale failed to account for the possibility of Fel-sped evolution; or should I say, mutation.

By the time the first crops of the new farms around the landing site were being harvested, the Demon’s twisted slaves launched a relentless assault upon the Vessel. Had we not been hardened by ages, if not millennia, of stalwart defense against the onslaught of our Man’ari nemeses, we would have no doubt been utterly wiped out. It wasn’t like on Draenor where we were allowed to enjoy generations of peace. The younger generations had not known any other life but the life of an Exile. A life on the run. In our hearts of hearts, we were never able to rest and recover, for behind every alien sound, any strange sight, demons could be lurking in an ambush. Think of the feeling you have while working on the infirmary in a warzone. Even though at the time being you may be safe, somewhere deep inside that hunted feeling never ceases to haunt your spirit. Only when you return to the safety of your home, an Exodar, a Shattrath, or a Stormwind, does this weight lift.

We had no home but Argus.

We did not want any home but Argus.

Think about it. Draenei. Exiled Oned. We allow our state of Exile, our otherness from the Man’ari demons to define us. Especially for the older generations, we could not come to accept any other home but our ancestral homeworld. Doing so would take away the very core of what we were, what bound us together: a unified resistance against Fel and Demonkin. The name of our commune in the Exodar, Ere Argus, exemplifies this. We are not looking for a new home, on some level we still desire to return home. To Argus.

Sometimes, I believe a change of name is long overdue.

Thanks to our innate alertness and our experience in defending the Vessel, we were easily able to fend off the first waves of demonkin without suffering too many casualties. As Its Grace K’ure prepared the ship for flight, we could just barely grasp the extent to which the trap would spring, as hordes upon hordes of twisted crimson fleshbeasts ransacked our young refuge as we fled once again to parts unknown. We fled to Ak.

The contrast to the lush world whose name I do not recall could not have been greater: but this was intended. You see, at the time we figured that the swiftness in which the Legion had tracked us down was due to the infestation of the planet, which was in turn due to the presence of easily manipulated sapience. Much later it would become clear this was in fact due to their increasing success in tracking the arcane traces we left in the Nether and following them to their source in the Beyond: but more on that later.

So, Ak. You are probably imagining something like a Tanaris or Uldum, only stripped of their rare oases and rivers. Or maybe you are picturing the fel-ravaged Hellfire Peninsula. Well, you might as well forget about that image completely, because Ak was nothing like that. Not even Desolace can compare to its...Desolation, if you’d excuse the pun. For starters, there was no sand. Nothing. Nor were there any rocks. The world was, impossible as it may seem, completely devoid of any significant features whatsoever. It was a simple sphere, clean in a horribly dull monotone bleak blue. I remember that during our first few months there were excursions out to charter the lands and look for life and water, but with no significant landmarks whatsoever, it was all too easy to get lost. Try drawing a map of a completely monotone landscape. You’ll be finished before you start.

You might be asking yourself how in the Light’s mercy it should be able to survive on a planet completely starved of life. The answer is, as always, Magic! In true Argussion fashion, we fashioned ourselves gods of this dead planet. Like the immortal demiurges we were, we’d utilize our arcane expertise to crystallize the air castles we had been building in our minds at our leisure .The harvest on the previous world had been nothing short of excellent, so we had plenty of provisions to ration while the Arcanists and Technicians molded and shaped the land to our liking. Unlike its surface, deep beneath the crust the laylines of Ak were still brimming with energy. I am sure you can imagine the romance of it. A blank world who could, thanks to its Arcane potencies, be shaped into pretty much anything. A utopia for any self-respecting mage. A great lump of clay! Pottery and magic in one, awaiting its ideal sculpture in the form flawless synergy between magic and technology.

It was the ultimate trap.

It’s the darnest thing. For the longest time, the Legion’s search as spearheaded by the Man’ari Eredar was perfectly content to remain a hunt. We’d transport somewhere, spend a few years in precious marginalized peace, they’d track us down, and we’d have to transport someplace else again. Rinse repeat, ad infinitum. It was only in the years prior to arriving on Draenor, before we extinguished our arcane trace, that they started actively attempting to predict our trajectory and lay traps in it. It goes to show how far our brethren have fallen from their predatory roots, and how they have become all the more devious for it. Funny that when we say of a thing that it has fallen, we forget to mention how far or in which direction it has fallen. Nor do we say of a thing that it is falling. It has fallen, or it hasn’t, whereto and when we never know.

Thanks to the efforts of our Arcanists and Engineers, we soon conquered some of the barren planet in the name of Life and Light. Even though I wasn’t doing any of the terraforming myself, I still partook in the pride of my clever brethren who seemed to be far ahead in performing the impossible. You know a fair bit about spellcraft, and though I am not too sure how well versed you are in the art of conjuring, I am positive that you can imagine the sort of thrill we all shared during these days of creativity. Even I, a simple layman, quivered with excitement when I was first allowed to trim the Arcane-bred flowerbeds honoring K’ure’s Vessel.

In what must have been about two years, we managed to terraform an area of roughly ten kilometers in diameter surrounding the Vessel. It was a monumental arcane achievement. I cannot remember a greater feat of magical excellence in recorded history. Genius magi celebrate by history are usually lonely individuals who managed to separate themselves from the masses with some distinctive innovation, but this kind of conjuration and abjuration on such a massive scale required the combined efforts of not one or two geniuses, but of whole schools of Magi. It wasn’t any one name that claimed this feat, but rather the entire caste of Magi of the Draenei race.

In the end it still wasn’t much, of course. There some simple farms and lodgings, but we still spend most of our days cooped up inside the Vessel, as if we were still traveling. You’ve lived in the Exodar for some time, so I’m sure you can imagine what daily life in the Vessel must have looked like. During our eons of flight, the Vessel we the only truly stable factor we carried with us. A monument to our endurance, but most of all, a tribute to the Naaru’s endless mercy. At the centre, much like in the Exodar, K’ure cast Its magnificent Light upon common farmers and celebrated Vindicators alike. Around the brim of K’ure’s plateau were the centers of faith and worship. This is where I spend most of my time, tending to the spiritual needs of our brethren. Most of the early scriptures were written there, under no light but K’ure’s radiance. Around this sacred rim there were various schools and centres of learning on the secrets of the Arcane and Engineering, as well as a wealth of other subjects. This is where our brightest arcanists studied and prepared their crafts, and our most clever technicians perform maintenance to the ship. Around this narrow ring were markets where food and various other necessities were distributed.

So much for the main ship. Around the central hub, various - I don’t recall how much exactly - residential satellites were linked to it. It was on these habitational satellites the most of the Draenei spend the most time. It was where all the families lived and played together. Much like the Exodar, the lodgings in K’ure’s Vessel were very large, large enough to house many families at once, and none of the homes had any doors. (I believe that the Exodar is in fact the habitational satellite of the Tempest Keep, but I may be wrong) As a result, the budding community was open, peaceful and pleasant. On the highest plateaus, the Peacekeeper officers kept a stern watch, should any unrest arise. Some squabbling was of course inevitable, since we were cooped up together in such a tight knot for so long - but all in all we rarely had to rely on the Peacekeepers to resolve our conflicts. Centres of culture arose around the residential areas as they naturally do in places where many people live together. These centres however were rare and far in between. They never saw the opportunity to flourish in the constant state of flight and war we were in, so the precious few nexi of culture that arose were treasured like little else.

Not all satellites where used for habitation, however. Some of them were effectively small bio-domes, and it is in these domes that the farms where and the cattle was kept. This is where the comparison to the Exodar breaks. I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but K’ure’s vessel was much bigger than the Exodar (before most of it shattered upon impact on Draenor, that is), and so there actually - was - opportunity for some primitive forms of agriculture in the bio-domes. Most of my family still worked on the farmlands, like we did on Argus, and when I was free of my anchorital duties I rather enjoyed working the fields myself. I’ve been told that the Tempest Keep, the Temporal Fortress the Exodar is a satellite of, also has a botanical satellite. If that is the case, I’d imagine that the biodomes resembled it.

Right, back to the terraforming of Ak, and the attention it attracted from the most unwelcome sorts of guests.

As you can imagine, an eruption of such massive arcane activity leaves a mark, like a geyser or a volcano. It’s all too easy to retrospectively say how foolish we had been. How full of hubris. Who were we to play gods? This is all true and fair, but you have to remember that there were literally no other forces or entities to conflict with our unified resolve. How could it have been judged wrong? Can one really be blamed for one’s action if they are being performed in a vacuum?

We weren’t in a vacuum though.

One never truly is.

This time there were no traps. No clever tricks. No deceit. One day, out of the black sky, dozens upon dozens of infernals starting raining down upon our fresh yet brittle lands. This time we were ill prepared. During our stay we had dedicated ourselves with such zeal to winning the land for living that we had failed to consider the possibility that the Legion could find us without any sapient spies, safe for those who lurk in the Nether. It was after the tragedy of the battles that raged on Ak that we started to suspect that it might have been the arcane signatures we left behind on and between worlds that they used to track this. As you know, we would later put this suspicion to the test by mostly banning magic on Draenor, and from the many generations of peace and quiet we enjoyed there, combined with the history of Legion besiegement of Azeroth, we can conclude with some confidence that it is indeed the Arcane that lures them to our worlds.

We survived and fled, like we always did, but not without sustaining heavy casualties. Though we may had lost many fathers and brothers, mothers and sisters, they did not perish completely in vain. We learned a valuable lesson that would issue in the chapter of our people’s history known as Draenor, from which you can continue this chronicle with your own biography. There were likely some worlds in between the lush planet I mentioned and Ak, and many more between Ak and Draenor, but to me it feels like these three planets followed each other in that precise order. We might even have arrived on Ak before visiting that lush land, who knows? My memories are vague and undefined. When thinking back to our long flight, I mostly remember the times spent aboard the Vessel. The humming of the engines. The Light of K’ure falling on my writing desk. The smell of crystal-lanterns. The unbearable heat during sleeping hours in those cooped up tall houses, where the space that lay above you seemed to mock the density of people sleeping under it.

But most of all I remember my family. My little brothers and sisters, my mother and my father - but more than anything or anyone else, I remember Atlaua, my wife, and the son she gave me while still in flight. Her breath, his skin, her soft singing voice, his firm grip on my fat finger, her shrill sounding shouting during a fight, him tucking away his short tail behind his left leg...And all of it lit by crystal-lanterns, and the sound of energy rushing through the tubes, so strong it was unnoticeable.

I hope my records of Ak’Ragadaarr are of any use of you. If not, I hope that they at least amused you, or offered you some form of catharsis.

K’ure’s mercy,



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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Melnerag on Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:31 am

Dear brother,

Thank you for your account. It certainly adds to my understanding of what our people went through. We must find a way to preserve the experience of the Exile for posterity. It is high time the events are recorded. The suffering of our people and their tenacity in opposition to the Legion may never be forgotten.

Now, I have decided to send you a page from my diary. Any sane person keeps the diary day by day. I just take it out once a week or so and simply pen down my thoughts without regards for chronology. It was not written to be read, but I trust you will be discrete with my feelings and not let Monrena (as an example) just read it for fun.

Sanara is not a Naaru. It must seem odd that Sanara’s behavior has changed my view of the Naaru so dramatically. I cannot look at the Naaru with the same eyes again, I cannot trust them. When you stand in the presence of a Naaru, your heart reverberates with his song and the symphony of pure concepts and emotions is transmitted. The Naaru do not reassure us, they make us feel reassured. They do not console, they give pure solace. They speak to the very core of your being and touch the innermost strings. I am certain that if I ever came close to one, my problem of trust would be resolved with a single note. I do not doubt that. Their song turned the armies of Kael’thas to the side of the Sha’tar. How is this different from mind control? They bypass the reasonable mind and play your soul as an instrument to their tune. How can anybody resist them when their message is made so compelling.

Sanara believes that the Naaru are behind all good religions. Church of the Holy Light is the result of the Naaru slowly sharing fragments of their wisdom with the human forefathers, preparing them for the day when they are ready to receive the Naaru’s true form. Ata’mal crystal that fell on Argus and transformed the Eredar from hunters into settles, from tribesmen into citizens and gave rise to a brilliant civilization was a subtle gift of the Naaru. Elune? She is a Naaru. Thelos would have made an excellent Naaru, tricking others into enlightenment with good-natured jokes and well-meaned deceptions. Deceptions of the kind a mother employs against her young child. The messenger and the enlightened could laugh about it together later on, once the child is grown up. But that is not all. Apparently the Naaru bring the one best Truth.

It makes one wonder, what means would they resort to once gentle nudging and good-intended masquerade no longer bear fruit.

If the Naaru are the teachers, then why is it so wrong to not accept their teaching? Sanara has transformed them in my mind into Gods in all but name. Gods to be obeyed and Gods to be feared.

I see some irony in the fact that even though I reject the Naaru, I still try to live up to parts of their teaching. I cannot do the thing I love, that is sorting and studying ancient archives, without feeling guilty as there are people in dire need whom I could be helping. Whom I should be helping . Even on Azuremyst, after I have hunted down a Strider, I had thought of preserving its meat for my own use but somehow I found a group that needed it more than me and shared. Their hunter came down with some horrible sickness. I cannot heal him, but I can do his work for him. I felt proud about myself, in a Man’ari kind of way, when I walked out on Larem after she told me to “fuck off”. Now I feel guilty about that too. She has been alone in the House, tending to it while all the rest are gone. Alone and lonely . I am trying very hard not to forgive Sanara and Larem, but even that is hard. Every day I feel less and less angry about them. It just happens

I feared that the morning after I renounced the Naaru, I would wake up with red skin. Now I am somewhat disappointed that it didn’t happen. It feels like my renouncement had no effect whatsoever ; no effect except earning a punch from Sanara, of course.

I also crave for meaning. I’ve stopped finding it in the Light about a year ago already, so I set down and did what every good daughter of Argus would do: I’ve decided to create my own meaning for the world. I’ve come a very long way and admit to being rather proud of my masterpiece (I’ve even given meaning to the murlocs!) However, it still feels like a beautiful drapery covering a bare wall. You can enjoy the embroidery, but you know what it is made to conceal. Bare rock. One thing my meaning didn’t allow for was the Divine. It just wasn’t needed. Why should we bow to some power, when we can bow to our potential and collective (and personal) achievements? What can’t we do, that the Divine can? Thelos noted that I’ve done a rather good job of envisioning a revival of Argusian culture and society just before the Exile. I should’ve asked if he wanted to join my new Triumvirate, instead I realized that he was right in his implications.

He was partly right, actually. I took a step back and began reimagining my world. I’ve found a neat place for the Divine, it could have its own corner now. People and Deities (for simplification, the Light isn’t a deity, of course) could enter into a partnership. People have fundamental desires which the deities know how to satisfy. Then the people seek out the deity and a plan-of-action they find most agreeable. A bit like shopping for a new belt. “This one is too tight, that has a color I dislike. That over there is just perfect.” Thelos wasn’t too thrilled about my Divine Marketplace. It was an improvement, though. Instead of Argus I’ve recreated Gnomeregan.

Thelos and I have gotten to a very interesting point in our correspondence. His view is that the Holy Light loves unconditionally and welcomes all who embrace it; we should love the Light and follow it not for our own sakes, but for the sake of the Light. My Argus-Gnomeregan view holds that we must enter into a partnership with the Divine based on personal benefit. I think this is the kind of thinking that Kil’jaeden and Archimonde shared, although I am confident they would not sign up for Sargeras’ vision if they knew the whole bloody truth of it. I am not sure what I would have done if I knew the price behind Sargeras (destroying the world) and the Light (being chased across the world as it is being destroyed).

I hope the fact that I am always led to Argus in its final moments does not foreshadow my fate. I would make a very poor Man’ari. May be its just that most roads lead to Argus.

Fate is an interesting thing. When a Draenei (Eredar) asks a Kaldorei priestess of the Moon to travel the world together, the answer should be a “no”. In my case it was a “Yes”. Sorayah is just as interested in visiting new places and learning of new cultures as I am. Turns out we also have very similar preferences of food, lodging and landscape. It started with my brief visit to Darnassus to learn Darnassian and study Druidism and the religion of Elune. Sorayah is more of a late-afternoon Elf, so I kept running into her often. Nocturnal lifestyle takes some time adjusting to. As we spoke, we discovered that we agreed on great many things

After we have travelled across the Eastern Kingdoms together, I think we became friends. I cannot know what Sorayah sees in me that attracts her so much, but to me she is the only person I’ve met in recent years who is ready to support me in things that are important to me. It is hard to explain how I felt when Sanara and Drustai tried to convince me that the things I thought were important weren’t important after all. Apparently I had to abandon them, and focus on what they thought was important. Sorayah isn’t like that. She follows Elune with all her heart, but never preaches forcefully or pushes her ideas on others. When her faith compels her to warn me, she does so only once and never argues. I feel like Sorayah loves me, while Sanara loves what I could become.
Sorayah is not Elune. She has however made Elune appear safe . We have prayed many times together, hunted side by side, and visited remote and sacred Moonwells hidden deep within the forest. I saw that Elune is safe . There is no danger of music that invades your soul, no militant vision of the Army of Light. Just harmony. It is marvelous how Elune manages to combine the worldly and the divine within her. She is close to nature and is in nature, and at the same time aloof and heavenly. Of course the religion of Elune has contrived bits, like an image of an Afterlife where the dead are taken in by Elune and dwell forever in her presence. In fact, Sorayah and I both agreed that if Deathwing wasn’t enough to make the races of Azeroth work together and stop their fighting - then the Legion has probably already won. To her, Elune is the only certain salvation. Even if the Legion wins, Elune will take those who loved her and take them to a place beyond the Legion’s reach.

Elune and Anethion both promise a world-beyond-this-world, the Naaru promise the final and complete union with the Holy Light, Spirits testify to an existence within the realm of spirits (or World of the Ancestors). All these possibilities can’t possibly all be true. Unless everybody gets what he believes in.

The Kaldorei never were enthusiasts for theology and never spread their religion to other races or even unbelievers of their own race. Faith of Elune has no Scriptures (or they are so holy that I was kept in the dark about their very existence). The whole body of orthodoxy, for so far as orthodoxy can exist in a religion without Scriptures, is contained in the Elven culture itself. A song offered to Elune by hunters as they head out into the forests, make their kill and return is as much an affirmation of Elune as Guardian of Nature as any dogmatic declaration. The meaning of religion and its practice are closely intertwined.

Faith of Elune is a mystery religion , where meaning (knowledge) is transmitted through ritual and practice to the initiated. Sisterhood of Elune is devoted solely to Elune, while the majority of the Kaldorei follow Elune and their Ancient Demigods. In a way practice of the rituals and love for Elune create the meaning. Being who I am, I still found a back door to study Elune’s faith with some more detachment. The Elves have no Scripture, but they possess long tomes of Hymns sung to Elune. These hymns contain declarative statements, adjectives applicable to Elune, mythological accounts of history, examples of Elune’s powers and blessings and every other detail usually found in Scriptures. Of course, I must be careful: unlike Scriptures the hymns are not written to convey literal meaning.

The hymns are written in archaic Darnassian. As I read, I must transform them into a more modern language, translate into Draenei and then try to understand. When I say that I “have read in the hymns” I actually mean “I believe I have read in the hymns”. I think Elune does not have an elaborate ethical message to her children. I am yet to encounter a myth where Elune takes a stance on theft, adultery, inhospitality or gluttony. Elune generously shares her unconditional love for all living creatures and gives her blessing of tranquility to those who would take it. Arathorian deified ancestors embody a particular moral code, the Human Church takes a more abstract stance on ethics in its Scriptures while the popular mind looks to exemplars found in the ranks of old chivalric class and their paladin descendants. Elune is, in a way, closer to our Draenic view. She shares the love of all living creatures and gives the tranquility and serenity to allow us to take our time and make choices in peace, untroubled by doubt and negative emotion.

Sacred Places and ritual worship are very intriguing. In a way, Elune demands worship. Demand being a too strong word for it, of course. I think the acts of worship, such as religious festivals in honor of Elune (especially the festival held every time a full moon is visible at highest declination around astronomical midnight). I think the worship is meant more for the faithful rather than Elune. She shares her love unconditionally while it is in mortal nature to reciprocate. The only way for us to pursue a sane relationship with Elune would be if we had a chance to give something back. Ritualistic worship serves this purpose.

Sacred Places are ‘fonts of power’ where Elune is somehow closer to the physical world. They are the sites of pilgrimage and meditation, protected by the Owlkin race which was (according to mythological accounts) created by Elune to act as guardians of her sacred places.

If Elune is a Naaru, I shiver to imagine the jokes the Naaru must telling about me. I feel drawn to Elune because she is both worldly and heavenly. I was born in Nagrand and have always respected the land and felt connection to it. May be it is a kind of nostalgia. Elune is so much like the Light…except that she feels closer. Regardless, it is something I want to be a part of. Something I believe in and want to follow. Unconditional love for all creatures , is something I pray I can one day cultivate within me.

I can follow Elune, but I can never serve her. Sorayah has assured me that there are no rules that make the Sisterhood exclusive to Night Elves, but something tells me that all Sisters except one will be less than thrilled with my application. There is however another way. Shamanism. The whole of Nature is alive, every rock breathes and every river feels pain. The elemental spirits, spirits of the wilds and even spirits of the Ancestors are the embodiment of the nature and they are nature herself. The world is not full of spirits; the world is made from Spirits; Shamanism is about harmony of the spirit realm that translates into harmony of our own ‘physical world’. Shamanism is also about a partnership between people and spirits. The Shamen aid the spirits, the spirits aid the shaman with their wisdom and blessings.

Distinction between Shamanism and Druidism is a fine one. Shamen engage in a very personal partnership with the most fundamental spirits, the druids study under the Ancients (or under druids who studied under the ancients) in their arts and serve the Nature as embodied by the Ancients. The Shaman acts as a conduit for the spiritual power; the druid is the vessels of the spiritual power.

Druidism is narrowly connected with Elune, the two traditions developed side by side and are intertwined. Every Ancient is descended from Elune in some way. These demigods are worshipped alongside Elune by the common Kaldorei and revered by Tauren. In some domains distinction between Faith of Elune and Druidism is non-existent. If I were to describe it in a metaphor, I would perhaps employ the society. The highest leader loves those he leads and leads for their sake and to their benefit, the led acknowledge that the leader may sometimes know them better than they know themselves and accept his leadership even if they may sometimes disagree with it. The leader’s lieutenants help him, overseeing their domains or realms. Each lieutenant adds his personal touch while still acting according to the leader’s will. The leader himself rarely interferes inside the domains and realms of the lieutenants, not because he can’t, but precisely because he has lieutenants so that he doesn’t have to do it himself. The people under those lieutenants will always defer to them, instead of the leader. But they always believe that those lieutenants will act according to the leader’s will. They address the leader by addressing them.

So, why Elune and Shamanism and not Elune and Druidism? I feel that shamanism covers one important domain that druidism does not. Druidism may be much better connected to ‘living’ nature, but Shamanism is closer to the ‘inanimate’ nature. I believe that both are of great importance for overall balance and harmony. In my eyes Shamanism has a better balance between the animate and inanimate than Druidism.

Where does Exaythe go when she wants to learn about Shamanism? She goes to Sanara. I should have remembered that Sanara is an anchoress and a shaman. Her shamanism is intertwined with the teaching of the Naaru, so my little intake interview eventually led to the Naaru and ended in a punch directed by Sanara at my face.

I have considered leaving for Gilneas and traveling through Arathor to Wildhammer lands and seeking somebody willing to teach me there. But fate decreed otherwise. Rutom has come to me. I have decided to push him away with every grizzly tale I could tell about myself, but somehow he remained persistent in his love. I swear, if I could turn into some ugly demon to try and scare him away – I would have. But I doubt it would have worked. I am staying in Azuremyst for his sake, he will be called to war very soon and then I can continue my travels.

That stubbornness in his affection, his acceptance of me the way I am…I can’t describe how much it means to me. Doubly so because he is a Draenei. Ten times so because he held and kissed me. I would have been alarmed if this ended in something perfect. It hasn’t. Every kiss was a promise, the way he held me whispered of the things we could do together. But after all that he completely missed my suggestions. Did I mention that he also came to that date wearing full armor? I think it is mightily unfair that the person who would awake some lust in me would be completely uninterested in sex. Why can’t Laraan be a male?

In a way I deserved it, of course. I’ve pushed enough people away who loved me and craved me to earn myself a new title. Exaythe, the Breaker of Hearts . I pray there is no cosmic system of Justice which records your deeds and pays in kind. If there was, I have a lot of pain and disappointment ahead of me.


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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Amaryl on Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:51 am

(( oeh melny, really liked the switch to a personal insight of exaythe... from the polemics that fill the rest of this thread, I wonder if Thelos can resist falling into that pattern again. ))


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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Sorayah on Fri Jun 01, 2012 8:21 am

(( In my mind's eye, I could already see Exaythe one day being a proper priestess of the moon dressed in mooncloth robes. I guess this letter shows that my vision is false scratch ))

Mostly known as Shiiri ingame these days.
Also known ingame as Sorayah / Cynthía / Nhadya / Lydion / Thamir / Sini / Shanidar / whatnot.


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Title: Priestess of the Moon

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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Drustai on Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:50 pm

Sorayah wrote:(( In my mind's eye, I could already see Exaythe one day being a proper priestess of the moon dressed in mooncloth robes. I guess this letter shows that my vision is false scratch ))

((She's just a damn race traitor.))

[I] Drustai the Necromancer - Outcast
[A] RADM Areyah Conover - Missing in Action
[L] Saphra Emberstone - Felsworn
[H] Atsenkha - Former Kor'kron, Red Blade Tribesorc

"...in any bureaucratic organization there will be two kinds of people: those who work to further the actual goals of the organization, and those who work for the organization itself... In all cases, the second type of person will always gain control of the organization, and will always write the rules under which the organization functions."

—The Iron Law of Bureaucracy


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Title: The Necromancer

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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Yarnaat on Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:52 pm

((I call heresy!))


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Name: Yarnaat
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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Melnerag on Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:17 am


I've decided to send you another page. Don't ask me why. I think I am more sincere when I write while assuming I will not be read. But I still want you to read it. To assure me that I did not misunderstand our conversation in the World's End. But I think I already anticipated your answer.


The strange thing about the Higher Truth is that it doesn’t really matter. What matters is what you believe about the truth . Your beliefs shape your actions. If you believe that there is no inherent Good and Evil in the schools of magic, you are likely to fall to the use of Fel. If it is Enlightenment you are after, then one can ask what belief is the most conductive towards Enlightenment.

I doubt any anchorite or arcanist, not even Velen himself or the Naaru have any authority to say that the World and the Self are Nothing, and the Light is the only thing to exist. But then, what is the truth? If truth cannot be found and is based entirely on belief (and in this case it is!) then one may as well adopt a belief that is most conductive to Enlightenment.

If one seeks to appreciate the art, he would be a fool to waste his time chatting to other visitors in an art-gallery. ‘World is nothing’ means that the seeker of enlightenment must focus on the Holy Light, not deny or reject the world. The world can still be experienced and enjoyed, unless this will hinder enlightenment.

Easiest way to reach the sea is by drifting down a river. ‘Self is nothing’ means that the seeker of enlightenment must drift on the song of the Holy Light and let it carry him towards enlightenment instead of finding something internal or personal to propel and guide him along the way.
”What is the world, Exaythe?”
“The world is self-contained. It is everything that was, is, will be, could have been, might be or could one day be.”
”So the world is everything and nothing?”
”Then the world is nothing.”

The argument makes no sense. But there is no sense to be made. It is entirely irrelevant whether this argument is right or wrong. If it convinces the listener that there is Nothing, then it is conductive to enlightenment. And that is the only thing that matters.

At least, that is what I think the Naaruvada doctrine means. But of course Thelos would say that it means nothing. It all makes sense by rejecting that there ever was any sense to be made.

I can anticipate a conversation:
“What do the teachings mean?”
“They mean nothing.”
“How do I apply them to reach Enlightenment?”
“You don’t apply them. They are just silly words on paper.”
“Then what do I do to reach enlightenment?”
You do nothing, of course.”

And that’s it, that is the non-existent point the making of which is void of meaning. You do nothing. If you do nothing, think of nothing and turn yourself into nothing the only thing that remains is the only thing that exists. The Holy Light. And then the Light drifts down the river of Enlightenment to rejoin with Itself. And you do Nothing and observe.

Of course at this point The Truth begins to matter again, because if the Light is not what remains when there is nothing, then the whole breaks apart. Fortunately, by saying enough prayers, singing enough hymns and nourishing your compassion you can ensure that there is Light at the end of Nothing. Then the whole is whole again.

I can anticipate another conversation:
“But do I believe all that, Thelos?”
”You shouldn’t believe.”
“Then what should I do?”
”Just stop thinking.
“And do what?”
”And do nothing.”

I’ve tried finding arguments for not seeking enlightenment; I have found not a single one that doesn’t make me sound like a Man’ari.

“What if I don’t want enlightenment?”
”Wrong. You are nothing.”

And that’s it again. If you ask yourself if you want enlightenment, you make the only mistake one can make: there is a ‘you’ to want something else than the Holy Light. All other mistakes are just variations of the theme. There is no wanting, only the drift on the river of Enlightenment. To want something is to struggle against the stream.

At this point I am so confused by this, that I don’t know what to do with it. Of course Thelos would advise to “Do nothing.

I hope I understood what he tried to tell me, even if we had one and a half bottle of scotch down by the time he was finished.

But then again, there is nothing to understand.

Of course, making the listener so confused that she concludes that understanding is futile is conductive to Enlightenment. It is a kind of thing Thelos would do.

The thing about Thelos is that Thelos doesn’t need Inquisition, Pyres, Punishments or whips. He can let you go without even slapping your wrist, because he knows you will come back. How does he know that you will come back? He made sure that you will.

“Why am I even telling you this, by the morning you will forget it and lapse to your old self.”

Challenge accepted. How can you tell that to the prideful Exaythe and not expect her to prove you wrong? I am onto you, Thelos. So why don’t I do the opposite of what he wants and forget? Because that would be petty and childish . Whether I realize his manipulation or not, I am still right where he wants me. Then of course there is no Thelos to want me anywhere.

Thelos has planted this idea in my mind. I could find a million beautiful-sounding justifications for why not to seek Enlightenment. But he brought the problem to its very core. The question itself. If you ask “Why should I seek enlightenment?” , you ask it because you are full of pride and love-of-the-self. Both inexcusable. Both traits of the Man’ari. If you reject the pride, you can no longer pose the question and begin your drift down the river of Enlightenment.

He even blamed himself, for failing as a teacher as he allowed me to distance myself from the Light like I did, for leading me to the point where I think the things I think. Skillful, masterful Thelos.

Why am I even writing all this, instead of doing nothing? Again, pride. If I can write it, I can understand it and if I can understand it is mine. I am in control. And so I have written page after page to gain control of nothing, while it could have been mine all along. I could have been Nothing and Nothing could have been me. There could have been nothing.

There are things one is not meant to know; perhaps this is one of them. I cannot unknow it. Or is it that I cannot give up the illusion that there was something to know at all?

I’ve fingered Sanara under the table in public after downing a bottle of scotch, and I fail to feel guilty about it. First of all because guilt now seems like such a stupid, wasteful thing. What purpose does it serve? All I can ask is whether I should or should not do it in the future. I think that I should. But if I should, I should also be mindful of Rutom. After all I am having a relationship with the grandmother of my boyfriend. If this harms him, and I cannot explain, then I must stop and apologize. But knowing what I know about him I feel that he will understand.

And that’s the thing. I can shout out:
“Wait Thelos, if there is nothing then the world is devoid of meaning!”
”Of course it is devoid of meaning. But it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.

And that’s another thing, this is not about rejecting the world. This is about rejecting the distraction that is the world. As one floats down the river doing nothing, there are still plenty of enjoyable things to see waving form the banks.


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Re: [IC] The Draenic Generation Gap: Corrospondence between Exaythe and Thelos.

Post by Thelos on Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:32 am

Dear Exaythe,

I found this old diary amongst the rubble. It is my recording of the Battle of Shattrath. Since you have entrusted me with your personal doubts, I feel like I should entrust you with mine.

Please send this diary back after you're done with it.




After a long and arduous journey we have finally arrived in the City of Light. Many refugees, especially from the north, seem to have come here, much like us. No wonder. Shattrath still stands defiant, our biggest city on Draenor, our must beautiful city on Draenor. Our last city on Draenor. I try to recite the names all of our family and friends we have lost during and after the siege, but the list is too great, and I dare not write it down. I now understand the the saying ”A father should not have to live trough outliving his son" better than ever. Even though I might not be able to recite all their names, their souls remain in my prayers. What does a name add to that, anyway?I don't think I'll be able to forget their faces. Faces are what's important.

Kuaan seems to be coping well. He ought to. We have never come to rely on him as much as we have these last couple of days. Not only his shield has protected us from harm, but his spirits have also served as inspiration to keep us all hopeful. I wish I had taken the time to get to know his offspring better. I bet they would have become as magnificent as their father. They would have made me a very proud great-grandfather.

The girls are not as well. Atlaua has not been able to suppress her hatred and anger as well as the others. I have not seen her like this in ages. Not on Draenor. This ferocity, this mad zeal...It frightens me. But there is no time to reflect on it. Not when the savages keep coming. Their numbers are endless, and Atlaua seems to find more and more glee in killing them. Years of suppression of her magic must have made her restless and anxious. I would condemn it, if it weren't for the fact that she has saved all of our lives more times than I care to recount.

As for Eudaemonia...She is not well, not well at all. She does not have Kuaan's serenity, or Atlaua's zeal. She is frightened, very frightened. No wonder. She is only an aspirant. Not ready for war. Kuaan is thankfully keeping a close watch on her. She really looks up to him. I don't know what I would do without Kuaan. A Champion of the Light, a beacon of hope, but most of all...My grandson. My last remaining grandson. Seeneka, if only you could see your boy shine now. You would have been so proud. That, in turn, would have made me proud.

Incense in the censer now is burning,
All the Light's Realms receives the fragrance.
From afar the void-vast host of Naaru,
All inhale its sweetness.
In every place auspicious clouds appearing
Darkening mists dispersing
Our sincere intentions thus fulfilling
As all Naaru sing their perfect songs

{Mantra repeated several dozen times}


We have set up camp in the Lower City with the other refugees from Terrokar and Shadowmoon. The priesthoods provide for all wants for now, but I wonder how long their rations will last. The Oricsh hordes are closing in. Auchindoun burns. No Draenei remains alive in Nagrand. From what I have heard from refugees from Farahlon, things up north are looking equally grim. Yet, I see very few despairing faces. The Prophet is with us. I passed him during my evening prayers. He did not look well. Though his body seemed to be in sound health, there was something about his expression and complexion that spoke of incomparable sorrow. The Prophet is in mourning. Light knows how many loved ones he's lost. Every lost soul weighs heavily on his. I cannot imagine what it must be like to carry such a burden.

Shattrath is being fortified. Everywhere people are in tow to reinforce the wall and prepare the city for a long siege. I cannot imagine we would last very long against the hordes. Not because of our valor and bravery; which seldom has been stronger, but because of our quickly thinning supplies. Cut off of from the farmlands with Orcs swarming the hunting grounds, I fear they might easily starve us to death.
There is to be a big assembly tonight, on the middle of the Terrace. The Prophet will be making an announcement, and Light knows we could all use some good news by now.


We spend all night talking around the campfire. Not just us, but other families too. The Prophet's vision and plan struck us all like lightning. Everyone has an opinion. Some say the Prophet's lost it, but most of us remain faithful. The mere thought that such a grim plan could be devised by such a noble soul seems a little harrowing.

We have unanimously decided to support the plan. The girls were hesitant and anxious at first, but Kuaan and I convinced them that this way is for the better. I cannot imagine a more glorious death than to die in the name of the Light and the future of our people. We have been given the opportunity to die a true martyr's death, instead of a slow and painful fading away. Once more shall we light up the city of Light with our valor.

I have no doubt that in such a death, we shall all be re-united with and within the Light. Though the Prophet's plan is macabre indeed, it has at least given us hope. Not as individuals, but as a people, as a species, we have hope. All that remains is to make the Will of the Draenei people and the Light into our own, and we shall all be allowed a peaceful and good death.

Eudaemonia is still so frightened. She is the youngest of us, so I pray that the Light and the Prophet will have mercy on her soul and grant her refuge from the oncoming massacre. If any one of us should be granted a future, it should be her. Such a clever, honest and sensitive girl. She has not birthed any young of her own. Nobody should have to die without being allowed the ultimate gift of reproduction.

Atlaua was fierce at first, passionately resisting the Prophet's plan, but Kuaan and I managed to simmer her temper down. She now...Well, she feels anxious. Ever since we concluded our talk she has been working on her spellbook with renewed frenzy and zeal. I fear anger has all but burned up her more gentle feelings. She is not looking to die a martyr's death. She seeks vengeance...I pray the Light will be merciful, and that she will not be unjustly punished for her wavering. It is not her fault. She has always been very compassionate. Her Love must have been Lightgiven, and it is the greatest gift It has ever graced me with. I am grateful we are allowed to leave this world together.

The Light loves all who love, and all who love, love the Light.
The Light loves all who love, and all who love, love the Light.
The Light loves all who love, and all who love, love the Light.

{Repeated until the end of the page}


I don't - {Rest of the passage violently scribbled out and unreadable}


I don't think I can do this. Light, I don't think I can. I can't do this. This is too much. There must be some mistake. He can't be asked to memorize all names. He must have mixed me up with Kuaan. Why Kuaan, and not Eudaemonia? Kuaan and I are ready. We gladly entrust our lives to the Light. Eudaemonia still wavers. She needs more time. It can't be me, can it? It's not – there's been a mistake. I will seek an audience with the Prophet. We will rectify this. I will bring Kuaan. We will go to the Prophet, and sort this out. Together. It's an easy mistake to make. All names must be alike to him. What does a name add, anyway? He will see our faces.


It wasn't a mistake. It was real! Unbelievable! From all the Karabori survivors that he could pick, he picked one of the oldest? What sense is there in that? Kuaan is strong, young, a great Vindicator! He will be able to protect the survivors. I won't. I barely know how to fight. I don't have the strength to swing a crystal-forged hammer. Why pick the frail stupid fat old monk, rather than the young powerful Vindicator?! There's no sense to it!

And what about Eudaemonia? She has a future! So much potential, denied...Why me? I've done my part. I've lived a long and good life. I've had many children, who had children, who had children, et cetera – I don't even know! I've done all that a good average Draenei can be asked to do. What sense is there in this?!

Kuaan knows the Karabori school just as well if not better than I do, so it can't be to pass down the teachings or something like that. And why would that teachings be important?! What are the teachings compared to a promising life? What are some dusty backwards scrolls of wisdom compared to a first son's first steps? Wisdom can be rediscovered. It's all in the Light, waiting to be re-discovered. A life? A life only lasts once, and a future denied will never be restored.

Velen hasn't heard the last of me.

I won't accept this. I won't.


The Prophet's decision is final. He won't see me. He saw me once, refused to give me a decent explanation for his idiotic decision, and send me off like a bratty snot-nosed child. There even was a line. A line of complaints. Velen sends them all away with no answers. He will come to regret his decision when he is surrounded by old infertile farts. The last generation of Draenei, hiding in some swamp, dying out without a whimper. Perhaps he picked older Draenei so he can die alongside those he knows best. Asinine.


I talked to Atlaua and Kuaan, and to my complete and utter stupefaction, they seem to side with Velen on this. Kuaan in particular. I tried explaining to them how wrong he was, and how wrong they were, but they wouldn't listen. They seemed almost glad that I was picked. Some kind of sick pride. Or is it relief? If it is relief, then I would do anything to trade places with them.

I tried telling them that Kuaan was the better warrior, they told me I was the better healer.

I tried telling them that Eudaemonia had the more promising future, they told me I had the more important past.

Damn the past! Am I being preserved like some sort of relic? Am I to be put on display in Telredor, for Draenorborn to gawk at? Atlaua isn't much younger than I am, so why wasn't she chosen? Granted, she wasn't born on Argus, but she might as well have been. She would have fit in well, whereas I never did. He will come to regret this.


It's no use. They aren't listening. Even Eudaemonia sides with Velen now. Of all the times to learn about the Vindicator's path, she chooses now to learn about martyrdom. She has been talking a lot to Kuaan, and she says she's made peace with her destiny.

“For the Light!” she says, almost like a mockery of Faith. She's genuine, though. I know that she is genuine. And I am happy for it.

Speaking of peace, I have not seen Atlaua this peaceful since...I don't think I've ever seen her this peaceful. She says she is overjoyed by the fact that she has been granted the chance to sacrifice her life for mine. Her wavering has come to an end. She said that, while she couldn't find it in her heart to give her life to the Light, she has no doubts about giving it to me. Knowing that I will live gives her sacrifice meaning.

I suppose...I will have to carry that weight.

The unsurpassed, deep, profound, subtle, wonderful Light,
In a hundred thousand million eons, is difficult to encounter;
Now that I've come to receive and hold it, within my sight and hearing,
I vow to fathom the Never-Was One's true and actual meaning.

{Mantra repeated a few dozen times, spanning several pages}


I am a mass of sin;
Thou art all purity;
Yet thou must take me as I am
And bear my load for me.

No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought;
Save as thy servant, I am nought.

Guard me, O Light, and O, control
The tumult of my restless soul.

Ah, do not, do not cast upon me
The guilt of mine iniquity.

My countless sins, I say
Upon thy loving heart I lay.

{Repeated three times, each taking up a single page}


No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought...


It has never been this hard to be a servant of the Light. I have come to believe that this is my greatest challenge yet. The greatest test of Faith. I must have faith in Velen's visions. Faith that his visions are Light-given, and that his judgment is Light-inspired. To my limited mind and soul, the future is uncertain. But to the Prophet and the Light, it is known. To the Naaru, it is known. By Faith in their judgment, I too, can know the future. Only in this there is hope.

I can't bear to be in their company. Not now. The more time I spend with them, the more my resolve wavers and my Will weakens. Writing this is also painful. I wish I could become a Naaru. Strong. Beyond doubt. Why is there doubt in my mind? I know that my thoughts and concerns are petty compared to the wisdom of the Prophet. So why can't I rid myself of this infernal doubt?


Praying, singing, playing the sitar, more praying, meditating, playing the flute, more meditating...I can't even seem to meditate anymore. The Light has never felt so distant. Is it because of the task? Is it because it is so distant and far? When the Light speaks to us, it speaks trough our souls and heart. It whispers directly to us. Yet this time, it has come to me from the outside, from far, far beyond me. I cannot feel it. When the Light urges me to be compassionate, I feel Its warmth washing over me. It is easy. Martyrdom is easy.

But this Light...It comes from so far. I cannot see it, hear it, or feel it. I am being asked not to have Faith in the Light, but Faith in the Light as it comes to the Prophet. Is it close to him? Does he feel the Light in these visions? Has this terrible decision been as easy for him as it has been easy for me to be compassionate in the past? Is this a form of compassion? I cannot know these things. I can ask him, he can answer, but still I will not know. Even if I were to read his mind, I would not know.


I want to see you, Atlaua. Never more than now. And you want to see me. When you see me, your resolve is strengthened. When I see you, my resolve weakens. It is this bitter irony that is truly tearing me apart. I must try to draw strength from your Will. I must carry it. Carry on. I must have faith in the faith that has been put into me.

Knowing that I will live has changed your Will from one of mad Lightless zeal to one of Lightloved compassionate sacrifice. I must not undo this. Whatever I do, I must not undo this. I must be strong for her, and give her sacrifice meaning.

No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought. No deeds I've done nor thoughts I've thought; Save as thy servant, I am nought...


We will be leaving tomorrow. Our party is small. For this I am thankful. I have seen Velen's face again. He looks sorrowful and tired. He's already started mourning. I suspect he started mourning before he even realized what it was that he was mourning. This gives me strength. He understands the weight he carries. As I give Atlaua's sacrifice meaning, he gives the sacrifice of all Draenei in Shattrath meaning.

I think I can now understand what it feels like, to carry such a burden.


{A short passage has been violently scribbled out. It is unreadable}


I still can't manage to meditate. My mind is restless. Imaging their whereabouts is draining all of my spirit. Is this what it is like to be burdened with the third eye? Perhaps my imagination is a possible future, too. I see them despairing. They are lonely and confused. But it is not they who are in despair. I am the one that is lonely and confused. They are strong and proud. The Light is with them. In this I must have Faith. Otherwise, I will go mad.

I see them dying. I see Atlaua and Eudaemonia ravaged by Orcs. Kuaan tortured, and forced to watch.

But it is I who is forced to watch.


The Light feels distant. It is unable to properly flow trough me. The Vessel is corrupted and tainted, the conduit is breaking. Even the purest and most wonderful medicine will turn to poison if the cup is tainted. I'm so tired, so very, very tired, and I cannot sleep.


{The rest of the diary is filled with notes on many Karabori rituals, mantra's, recitations and customs, but no further personal entries}


Posts : 3392
Join date : 2011-07-18
Age : 26
Location : The Netherlands

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