A Lady and Her Ape

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A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Grufftoof on Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:52 pm

For your delight, a ribald jape
about a Lady and her ape.
Of noble birth was the dame,
her family was of well known name.
And as so many of her class,
oft the days she would pass
with head in books, with needle, thread;
but lonely nights upon her bed.

For her father was a frightful bore,
he feared his kin be named "A whore".
So he bought for her a dog, a cat;
a pony, hawk, this and that.
Things to keep to keep her company,
and to that end; a hairy monkey.

This became her soul's delight.
No longer dreamt she of her Knight;
no longer did she suitors yearn.
In fact, most company did she spurn.
Her family, friends, soon were shun;
a constant pal, this hairy one.
In those times her laughter rang,
her handmaid said "her heart it sang".

But what was it that kept her happy
about this hirsute simian chappy?
Was it just how he ook't and eek't,
or round the castle gaily leaped?

My audience would like to know
that the answer to this was thus far a "no".
For where would be the humour so,
if sweetly innocent was the show
between the lady pure and fair
and the one of tail and hair?

Never fear, for here's the truth:
under nightfall's starry roof
the maiden would shout, exclaim and squeal
as the monkey stood erect, to peel
the fruit he held within his hand;
large, it curved, and was quite grand.
With his gift he would advance
to offer her a treat, a chance.
Her lips she licked, then was ready;
grabbed the sheets, herself to steady.
There it was, not quite a yard
and thus she smiled and bit down hard.

I hope you've found this all a hoot;
the monkey, and his special fruit.

Grufftoof

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Shaelyssa on Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:48 pm

The muscles in my face are cramping like crazy now from all the laughing but MY GOD, you're a freaking genius, a dirty one :p, but still a genius.

<3<3<3<3

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Shaelyssa on Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:50 pm

Hahaha oh god :p I can't get over how much I love this. I keep reading it and it never gets old >;]

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Vittore on Mon Sep 05, 2011 1:05 pm

O_______O

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Morgaan on Mon Sep 05, 2011 2:19 pm

Ahaha, i really didn't expect this in the last verse! Wow this made me and my boyfriend who is now at my side laugh so hard that we can barely bread ! XD

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Mandui on Mon Sep 05, 2011 3:02 pm

hahahaah awesome xD
Morgaan wrote:Wow this made me and my boyfriend who is now at my side laugh so hard that we can barely bread ! XD
....

aaaahahahahah x'D

Edit: I'm sorry, that's probably a typo for breathe but one could see it as a typo for breed too

lmao

_____________________________________________________
Ἐκβαλόντες με νῦν περιεκύκλωσάν με, τό ἀγαλλίαμά μου λύτρωσαί με, ἀπό τῶν κυκλωσάντων με.

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by corleth on Mon Sep 05, 2011 3:03 pm

I'll admit, I laughed at that too.

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Morgaan on Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:58 am

Omg i haven't noticed it! Ahaha this made my day xD

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Amatho on Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:33 am

Mandui wrote:hahahaah awesome xD
Morgaan wrote:Wow this made me and my boyfriend who is now at my side laugh so hard that we can barely bread ! XD
....

aaaahahahahah x'D

Edit: I'm sorry, that's probably a typo for breathe but one could see it as a typo for breed too

lmao

Priceless.

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Eodan on Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:52 am

Oh my god I lolled so hard. xD
Ace work. Simply ace. Ahahahah

_____________________________________________________
Eodan Sergeant of Arathor - "Wha' 'appens, 'appens."
Leonath The Red Sand - "Accuracy, discipline, survivabiliy." - Gone Rogue
Theenus Paladin of the Blacksoot clan - "Nae, nae, och please not tae frying pan!"
Nathanìel The Thief - "Me? I would never!"
Thalareon The Frozen - "It is mine."
Hodain Groovie Grandad - "Humdidum... Whoop!"
Hyanadil Flawed ranger - "Whoops-.. I missed that on purpose!"
Quèntyn Rising noble - "A kingdom may fall, but it's legacy will not."
Yolun Of the Wilds - "I forgive you." - Deceased

Eodan

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Ave/Sariella on Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:33 am

...This is fantastic, fucking lold.

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

Post by Grufftoof on Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:14 am

Re-reading it aloud I think some of the rhymes are a little "off", but I am glad it made some people smile and laugh!

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Re: A Lady and Her Ape

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